Frogmore Stew

OOOOOOHH-WEEEEEEE!!! Do I have a treat fer y'all!!! This here recipe is wat we cawl "Frogmore Stew" but don't yew go worrying yur purty little head over nothin', it ain't got no frogs in it! There are a few things yew'll need in order to fix this here dish. For one, you gotta have indoor plumbin'. Have ya got indoor plumbin'? If not, yew can always go on down yonder to the Jenkin's farm. I hear they got themselves a real dandy of a sink right there in their kitchen! So yur gonna take a big ol' pot and fill it with warter, like several quarts of warter. Get that there pot a warter on the fire, or stove if yur real fancy, and get it goin' good n hot. Yew know that there seasonin' called Old Bay? Well, it ain't go no calories! YEE-HAW! So go on ahead and put enough of that there Old Bay in yur hot warter to choke a mule! I'm talkin' 2/3 to 3/4 cup of it! I ain't playin' 'round now! Go on and put it in there! Then, yur gonna put in some ears of corn. I hear nowadays you'ens can get it all frozen like. Like it done snowed in Jew-lie! So go on and get yurself some of that there snowed-in corn (I like the half ears) and put it in yur boilin' seasoned warter. Go on down to Bob's garden and see if he'll give ya some of his homegrown poe-taters! The ones with the red skin, if he's got 'em! Take as many as he'll give ya and warsh them in the river on yur way home. Go on and quarter them and put as many in yur pot there as yew want. When all the cousins stop on by, I have myself a right big crowd so I'ma always puttin' in lots a taters!
Some of those weird city folk don't like eatin' nothin' but veggies so if yur one a them and yew ain't eatin' any meat, like steak or pork chops, y'all can have this as a side dish for yur salad or chicken. If'n yew ain't one of them folk, yew can go on ahead and add some snowed-in shrimp after yew done let your corn and taters cook a minute (or ten). Go on an add yur shrimp and then chop up some smoked sausage. I like that skinless kind cuz I ain't got no teeth to be chewin' it with. You'ens can get watever kind ya like. Put that there in yur pot and let it heat up just long enough to go take a turn swingin' from the rope at the river and come on back.
Now wat yur gonna do is to put one of them bowls with holes in it in yur slop bucket, or sink if yur one a the Jenkins, and dump yur whole pot in so all the warter drains out but yew still got yur supper. Roll out some newspaper on yur table and dump that all over yur paper and let all yur cousins just dive on in there and help themselves! And yew got yurself a real swell supper that the whole town's gonna be talkin' 'bout! And for jest 'bout 386 calories per person (serves 8), yew'll still be fittin' in yur best overalls! YEEEEE, DOGGIE!

1 package frozen corn (the kind I buy comes with 8 half ears)
3 lbs red potatoes, quartered
1 lb smoked sausage, cut in bite-size pieces
1 lb frozen (or fresh) shrimp
2/3-3/4 cup Old Bay Seasoning

Boil Old Bay in a large pot (the biggest one ya got!) in 4 quarts of water. Add frozen corn first and let it cook about 7-10 mins before adding potatoes. Let that cook another 5 mins and add shrimp and sausage. When your shrimp turns pink (or heats through if it's frozen), drain the whole pot and you seriously CAN dump the food on newspapers on your table! Or use dishes if you're prissy. Don't forget napkins!