Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Bitchin' Fruit Snack

Fruit was invented by the gods as a way of saying "We can make candy grow from trees because we have magic powers and you don't...nana nana boo boo!". *Epicurus once said, "Not what we have but what we enjoy, constitutes our abundance...like this bitchin' fruit snack!" **And I believe it was the great Socrates who said, "If all fruit salad were laid in one common heap whence everyone must take an equal portion, most people would be contented to take their own and depart. But that's why I'm like way way smarter than all of them cuz I would totally bring a super big stick and fight them all to the death!" ***And we all know the prophecy of Nostradamus, "Near the veggie platter and within two bowls, There will be snacks the like of which was never seen, Hunger within parties, people put out by peels, Crying to the great immortal God for seconds." ****And last but not least, let us not forget the words of the wise German philosopher, Friedrich Nietzsche, "HOLY CVAP! Zis fruit schnack iz schtupendous! It makes my neepoles tingle vith ecztozy!"
So without further ado, I give you..A BITCHIN' FRUIT SNACK!

2 kiwis, peeled and diced
2 red apples, cored and diced
8 ounces raspberries
1 pound strawberries, stemmed and diced
3 tablespoons sugar-free fruit preserves, any flavor
10 (10 inch) flour tortillas
butter flavored cooking spray
2 Tps cinnamon sugar

If you don't want your apples to brown at all, toss them in a little lemon juice before mixing with the rest of the fruit. Otherwise, mix your nasty brown apples with your raspberries, strawberries, and fruit perserves, leaving your kiwis to add last so they don't get too smashed. Put them all in a super pretty bowl and let them hang out in the fridge while you whip up your homemade cinnamon chips.
Preheat your oven to 350 degrees. Spray your tortillas lightly with your butter spray and, using a pizza cutter, slice them into wedges. Sprinkle them with your cinnamon sugar and bake for 8-10 mins. Let them cool completely (so they get crispy) before serving them with your fruit salsa. This should serve about 10 people, making this fruit snack around 350 calories per serving! YUM!!!

*Epicurus did not say that.
**Socrates said something sort of close to that but not really.
***Nostradamus probably said that but someone messed up his quote.
****It's possible I completely made this up.

5 comments:

  1. GREAT idea!!! I wonder if the low carb tortilla I get would bake up nice and crispy, too!?

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  2. haha! love it! "...the words of the wise German philosopher, Friedrich Nietzsche, 'HOLY CVAP! Zis fruit schnack iz schtupendous! It makes my neepoles tingle vith ecztozy!'"

    ...and i don't even need a translator!

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  3. Debi- They should! I've also used low-sodium whole wheat tortillas and those actually crispied better than original. You may have to adjust your baking time tho, as I had to lessen the time on my whole wheat ones.

    Tim- Your German has really come along nicely! ;)

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  4. Gee whiz it took me forever to figure out where to find you and now how to comment! Can't keep me from giving MY opinion. ha!! Its all good!

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  5. That sounds like a fantastic dessert idea. And you made me snort soda through my nose.

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