Thursday, January 26, 2012

Spinach Enchiladas Verde

I stole this recipe from a vegetarian cook from Austin, TX that goes by the name Nicegirl512 on allrecipes.com. I thought her recipe was effing delicious and I didn't change a thing! Usually on cooking websites, cooks will post a picture of themselves or part of a real name. She didn't post either so I get to use my imagination and invent her myself! In my head, Nicegirl512 is tall and lean (she's a vegetarian, you know), has dark hair, tan skin (she lives in TX!), looks awesome in cowboy boots and cut off shorts, has a pet Border Collie named Rufus, loves book stores, uses recycled shopping bags, paints in her spare time, and leaves change for the crippled kids fund at the local gas station (she's 'nice', remember?). And her real name is Julie.
Julie starts her mornings by taking Rufus for a jog around the neighborhood, going through the park and waving at all the usual people. She gets home, feeds and waters the dog, and gets ready for work. She's a dental assistant for Dr. Bleedinggums and a favorite of all the patients. She always has an extra pen handy and knows the current date. She even hands out free samples of the new floss when the Dr. isn't looking.
She's a hard worker but knows to leave work at work and focus on her real life when she leaves the office. She gets in her old but reliable pickup and heads home, stopping at the local market on her way to pick up stuff for dinner tonight, which she will be serving to a few friends. Here's her list-

1 cup light sour cream
1 (7 ounce) can green salsa
1 bunch fresh spinach, rinsed and thinly sliced
2 cups shredded Monterey Jack cheese
1 (10 ounce) package corn tortillas

I literally copied and pasted that from allrecipes.com! So that technically IS her list!! She says bye to Dana, the checkout girl with bad skin and Ebert, the 98-yr old bagger that moves slower than snail snot but is too cute to fire.
Rufus is thrilled to see her when she walks in so she stops to pet him and tell him what a good boy he is for not eating the throw pillows and then lets him out to play in the backyard. Her friends won't be here for another hour and dinner only takes 35 mins to make so she has time to change from her work scrubs to something cute and casual.
Back in the kitchen she preheats her oven to 350 degrees and washes the spinach. She mixes the sour cream with the green salsa and puts a thin layer of it in a 9x13 dish. Then she spreads a little of it on each tortilla and sets the rest aside. She divides her spinach evenly among all the tortillas and tops them all with the cheese. Then she rolls them each like burritos and lines them up in her dish. It's that baking dish that her mom gave her when she turned 18 and moved out so she's thinking of her mom's cooking while she's making her own. She tops it all with the rest of the sauce and cheese and puts it in her preheated oven for 20-25 mins, or until it starts to brown and all the cheese has melted.
Dinner's ready just as her friends arrive. Rachel, Carrie, and Abel all arrive together but Will shows up five minutes later in his own car because he just bought it so he feels it's necessary to drive it everywhere even tho carpooling is better for the environment. Carrie tells Julie she loves her hair and Julie tells her about her new shampoo while Rachel plays with Rufus. Abel heads to the kitchen to put away the bottle of white wine he brought over while Will is pulling a beer out of the fridge. Will uses Julie's favorite dish towel to twist the cap off, which it snags, and he tosses it on the floor in the corner.
Rachel says dinner smells awesome and Julie offers to dish it all up on her new handmade plates she picked up at a nearby Indian Reservation for three times as much as you could buy at Pier1 Imports because the lady that was selling them was adorable. Will complains there's not a side dish so Julie puts some corn chips and salsa on the table to which Will complains it's not his favorite brand. Julie suggests maybe next time he can supply the chips and she cheerily offers plates to Abel, Rachel, and Carrie.  
Everyone is enjoying supper and Julie informs them it's only 321 calories per serving when Will spots Julie's Wii and says he's the ultimate champion at Wii Baseball and sets it all up to prove it to everyone, even though they all told him they were sure he was and he didn't need to prove anything. Will immediately begins to complain that her Wii is different and the controls don't work right, even though the game hasn't even started yet. Also, her Wii is slower and "looks dirty". Julie takes the girls and Abel to the bathroom to show them the new color she painted and how she framed in her mirror herself to give it a whole fresh look for under $50. Everyone is impressed and telling her what a great interior decortator she is while Will is swinging his arms around like an epileptic monkey and cussing at the video game. Tired of looking like an ass, Will blames his score on Julie's dirty Wii and pulls another beer from the fridge.
An hour and seven beers later, Will is teasing Rufus by "pretending" to set his tail on fire with a lighter even though Julie has asked him to stop three times now. She also asked him to please not feed Rufus any more salsa and to use the bathroom inside and stop urinating on the begonias. Annoyed with Will's deteriorating behavior, Abel tells him he's had too much to drink and he needs to just sit down and relax. This annoys Will, as he's too drunk to understand big words like 'deteriorating'. Will tells Abel to piss off and Abel tries to calm him down by singing Kumbaya. Will hates Kumbaya and uses an empty beer bottle as a weapon, swinging it around as awkwardly as he had the Wii controller earlier that night. He gets a little too close to hitting Julie in the head with it so Abel uses his 12 years of martial arts experience to subdue Will by throwing a chair at his face. It works and Will is knocked unconscious. Abel apologizes to Julie for getting blood on her chair but Julie says it's fine and not to worry about it at all, then offers A Bitchin' Fruit Snack as dessert and they all head to the kitchen for homemade cinnamon chips and fruit salsa. Rufus sees his opportunity to seek revenge on Will and walks over and pees on his face. Will, too drunk and unconscious to move, drowns on the dog piss but nobody realizes that until the next morning.
The moral of the story is, this dinner is really good but if you make it, don't invite Will. He's an ass.   

1 comment:

  1. HAHAHAHAHAHA- WHAT?? No PICTURES???? You are just a superb writer, girlie!

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